Something That Happened

The following post has been deleted but not completely removed from this blog. Some of the posts I have made to this blog have been completely removed, but I have decided to preserve this particular post in this manner so as to retain some record of the effort. I often begin composing a post and then end up abandoning it at some point. By crossing out the post rather than removing it completely, you will at least be able to discover some of my original intention.

Yesterday I started walking toward the bus stop to catch the bus to the Brentwood Library but continued right past the bus stop, not feeling like waiting for the bus, needing the exercise, needing to move my limbs, having spent way too much time at home in front of the computer. I walked, and soon found myself incredibly far away from my destination. At first I suspected I was simply taking a detour, but soon found myself past the library, heading up Wilshire towards Todai, with only had a vague notion why. I've never eaten there but I wanted to find out what they had to offer, how much it would destroy me financially, etc.

After perusing Todai I continued on my journey, now heading towards Second Spin, the wonderful little secondhand CD store. Maybe they would have a pre-recorded minidisc I could test in the new recorder I bought, the one that doesn't seem to work, the one I bought on eBay, trying to save the little money I have. The first major purchase I had made in a long time, the minidisc recorder was intended to be used to

Who reads anymore? Well, you do, thank goodness. Yesterday I attended the Festival of Books in Los Angeles, an annual literary event. Literary? Well, sure -- although it's mostly a giant bookstore. Hundreds of authors autographed books, participated in panels, and generally delivered for folks interested in the printed word. A note of interest to readers of electronic literature: there wasn't a sign of e-lit. Perhaps next time, or the next time, or the next time.

Highlights of the event: a panel on writing (with Carolyn See and others), a conversation between Elmore Leonard and Barry Siegel, and a panel about historical fiction (with Pete Hamill and others).

Let's get down to business.

This morning I woke up feeling miserable again. I wake up feeling miserable quite a bit these days. I'm unemployed, have been for quite awhile, and don't have any current prospects within reach. What's there to feel good about?

So I wake up, have a cup of coffee -- usually brewed, but this morning instant because I'm out of drip and besides, you are what you eat (or drink), isn't that what they say? and I don't want to be a drip. I can be a loser, but not a drip.

So I enjoy my first cup, or try to enjoy it, while I wonder how to approach the day. I nearly always start off on the wrong foot, knowing in the back of my mind -- or not very far back, even -- that I should be working on my resumé. Knowing that I haven't picked up my resumé in months. Many months. Knowing that I should be working the paper, pounding the pavement, seeking employment. But I don't.

Instead, I boot up my Mac, fire up my email and go to town. Working on my Internet radio station, trying to figure out new ways of marketing my website/webcast, attacking that damn blog (not this one) or that discussion group I moderate. All a great distraction from my job search, but usually fun and a way to say, "at least I'm being productive and learning something new". Which is true, but still -- I should be looking for a job.