Something That Happened.

Labels: incarceration, observations, perspective, real life, true stories, Uncle Don, video, videoblog, vlog

One thing you gather when you spend more than half a week in jail is a renewed sense of perspective.

(Quick aside: I just Googled around for a good prison adage to apply here, but I wasn't able to find one relevant enough to insert in my post without it seeming forced. In fact, at the time of this posting, a search for "prison adage" returns only about 29 results. I find it somewhat remarkable that only 29 web documents contain the phrase...Perhaps more prisoners need to blog?)

Obviously, incarceration is not intended to be a fun experience; prisoners are, after all, being confined in order to punish them or, at the very least, curtail their unlawful behavior. But fun is a relative concept; what's floats one fellow's boat may instead choke another bloke's goat.

A nuclear blast: flood of light, scorched eyes, scritch-scratch on vinyl, a shout in the chaos, it's the jailer's commands, Everybody Up, scritch-scratch, scritch (Oh, the mattresses), people are moving (I think I'll just sleep in), a jostled leg, an inmate's voice It's breakfast, getupman followed by the jailer I said ev-err-ee-bah-dee up!!! Scritch-scratch-zlit, Line up single file, anyone's still on a mattress noh-bah-dee gets breakfast...

I'm in the top bunk, for a few seconds I look down unclear about my circumstance, the concrete below seems perilously distant. Noh-bah-dee gets breakfast. Nobody wants to be the one who screws it up for everyone else. Not here, not in Dangerland. I take an unsteady leap (Where are my shoes?), I stumble into the line (Am I cutting in front of someone?), my head is caving in, too much rum, I'm collapsing in dizziness and nausea, suspicious of my stomach. Urine on the floor soaks through my socks. (Where are my damn shoes?)

Later I find, some of the inmates seem to think this is all some kind of fun, an amusing diversion, a Festival of Humiliating Delights. A "vacation", one fellow described it. Others seemed (acted?) proud of their incarceration, the time they'd end up serving in Twin Towers. It's hard to tell who's real, who's bullshitting. Facing real time, what else you gonna do? Cry about it? Probably too dangerous for that in here. Act tough. Be tough. Or suffer, more than you can imagine. What's not to like about life in Hell? I want to cry but I'm too afraid.

Labels: commentary, incarceration, incident, observations, perspective, prison adage, something that happened, story, true stories, vacationing

Click to Play

Labels: abstract, fragments, perspective, short post, video, videoblog, vlog, waiting

What Chris doesn't realize is that there's another player involved in this: me. I can now publicly announce that I, Harold "H.J." Johnson, am currently making a bid for that once-thriving Internet service provider, America Online. Once I've made the purchase, I plan to bring down Earthlink, once and for all. That's it. That's my entire plan, to bring down Earthlink, because Earthlink is currently screwing me, and I'll tell you how: they're charging me monthly for dialup Internet service that I'm not using, that I've never used - and they refuse to allow me to cancel my account without charging me for 12 months of service.



"Please hold while we connect you to the next available representative..."



I have now been on a phonecall with Earthlink for over two hours, and I have yet to speak with a representative about my issue. I have been transferred from one department to another, at least ten times, maybe more, in the following order:

From


1. the Wireless Support line listed on Earthlink's Wireless homepage at (888) 304-2773

to


2. Wifi Sales at (888) 303-3843

to


3. Handheld Devices and Laptop Cards at (888) 304-2773

back to


4. Wifi Sales at (888) 303-3843

to


5. Earthlink's Main line (apparently) at (888) 327-8454

to


6. ??? at ??? (Perhaps I'm in the Twilight Zone at this point; the representative told me I could reach the Zone again by dialing [800] 890-5128)

to


7. Wireless Tech Support/Home Networking Dept. at (800) 895-0620

to


8. Wi-Fi Sales (again) at (888) 304-2773

to


9. W--Okay, you get the picture. I'm being jerked around. From here, I'll be transferred a few more times, until I finally reach the limits of my exasperation, ending the call with a less-than-courteous representative...

It began a few months ago, when I made an impulse purchase for a laptop I couldn't afford. I was enticed by an offer made possible by a partnership between Earthlink and a smaller computer maker, Microtel. The offer? A $400 laptop, subsidized by a one-year agreement to purchase Earthlink dialup Internet. At the time I noticed the offer, I was at a weak point in my life; I'd been "financially challenged" for some time, and desirous of a laptop I could take out of the house to do my work. I envisioned productive days at the local coffee shop, typing away at my laptop's keyboard, working on my resume and inspired by the caffeinated atmosphere. Perhaps I'd make some valuable contacts Outside, since I certainly wasn't making much progress At Home. Too many distractions...So I jumped on the offer, ponying up $400 and agreeing to a one-year contract with Earthlink.



Next day, I awoke, soberly realizing I couldn't possible afford this purchase. I called Microtel: "Buyer's Remorse?" the customer service agent inquired, to which - somewhat abashedly - I agreed. The agent swiftly cancelled my order and reversed the $400 charge made to my bank card.



I then immediately called Earthlink and requested a cancellation: "Certainly," the agent responded, "But it'll cost you..." Apparently I would be charged a hefty penalty for this particular Change of Heart, even though it took place within 24 hours. After a bit of protest, I retired the call and decided to save the argument for another day.



That day came, The Day of Protest, and after being given The Runaround for well over two hours, I finally threw in the towel and decided - once again - to continue the conversation on another day. It's been months since then, and I'm once again ready to pick up the argument. You see, I've been paying Earthlink every month since early Summer for an account I've never used, and I believe Earthlink should have allowed me to cancel my account without penalty - especially since I had requested to do so within 24 hours of my purchase. Contract or not, it seems to me that Earthlink's business practices are a bit shady, and I aim to correct them.



Help me if you can. Send me your ideas, Skype me (haroldjohnson) your encouragement or criticism, Google Talk (harold.johnson@gmail.com) me your advice - and I'll post it here (if you'd like). What can I do to reverse my (mis)fortune? How can I fix this situation? I'll appreciate any assistance you can offer, provided it's within legal boundaries. (Even if it's not, I'm sure it'll be entertaining to hear your feedback on this!)

Technorati Tags: something that happened, Earthlink, customer service, complaints, commentary, true stories

Labels: commentary, complaints, customer service, Earthlink, fuckers, observations, perspective, true stories